Tired

I am so tired of applying for jobs. The rejection really gets to you and you just want to give up. Or send a cover letter like this:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am applying for a job.

I know that might be obvious as you are reading this cover letter, but I am frankly bored by the whole process of applying for jobs. I continually revamp my cover letters and resumes, carefully tailoring them to every job I apply for and never get. Well, enough is enough. I WANT TO WORK ALREADY! Chances are you already know who you will hire and, if you are the type of person I do NOT want to work for, it will be someone you know from college. But, you had to post the position to be fair, or legal, or fairly legal. If that is the case, just stop reading now because I don't work for your kind. If you are honest, then read on please.

I am smart enough to know that there are at least 100 cover letters that are coming across your desk and you probably skim over the detailed descriptions of folks' past experiences.

I will make mine short and sweet: I went to college, I read a lot of books, I graduated, and I taught middle school for eight years. I am incredibly tech savvy and communicate well. I could run this country much less whatever job I am sending this letter to in hopes of gaining employment.

Why did I give up teaching? Because I have a child now and teaching sucks up a lot of one’s home time -- time that I would rather give to my child and husband. Sure, the opinion of a teacher’s work is rather low right now. Apparently I spent eight years baby-sitting and only working 5 hours a day for only 9 months of the year.

I wonder what happened to all those hours when I woke up at 5 a.m. to start grading papers or planning for some thrilling lesson. I wonder about all of those hours of professional development outside of school or during the summer, not to mention the time I spent after school tutoring students so that they could feel confident in who they are much less confident about math (which I taught for seven of those eight year). All those papers I took home to grade over Christmas vacation were gifts from my students (at least they were being thrifty).

I guess the 40+ hours I worked was only a fiction maintained in my head for eight years – which is odd because I never showed up for work intoxicated or high. Not once. Ever. Did I mention that I taught junior high? A little something something would have made it all much more bearable, but I chose to be competent rather than crude.

I have chased after rowdy kindergarteners during a cultural drumming exhibition (to the delight of my eighth graders), maintained blogs with countless pdfs so no child would be left behind when she conveniently left the rubric for a project due the next day in her locker for the past two months, had less than friendly conversations with parents who expected me to raise their child and teach them grammar, as well as changed my grades when a student at the 12^th hour finally turned in an assignment that would change her D- to a C-.

I been to Hades and back – it was fun but not thrilling, and compared to taking care of my baby, your job would a vacation.

I work hard for the money. So hard for it, honey. I could be a stellar employee if you would just hire me – and if you have a sense of humor.

If not, then clearly I am not the employee for you.

Kind Regards,

J. J. K.

D@mn you Gossip Girl!

Sadly, ANTM and Project Runway have ended and Masterpiece Theater has gone on holiday as well.

So, I have taken to watching whatever comes on television when I grade papers in the evening.

I have now seen a total of...2 Gossip Girl episodes and therefore do not get the overall plot line.

Anyhow, d@mn them - they stole a plot line from my fan fiction.

No joke - I had always seen Tobias Snape and Acacia Evans as having a thing.

Acacia (nee Sheppard) Evans is the name I christened Lily Evan's mother.

As I see it, during WWII, Mr. Sheppard (I can't remember his first name, but I have it written down) was a spy for England in North Africa. His wife and child (Rose and Acacia) fled London during the bombings to their country estate in North England - the village where the Snapes reside.

While in the village, Acacia Sheppard becomes friends with Tobias Snape - they become friends, they throw snowballs, report the coordinate of enemy planes to the wire service, etc.

But then Acacia must go to St. Ethelburga's School for Lovely Ladies and never returns...for her father is found dead after being tortured in Egypt for his espionage. She and her mother do not return to the country estate but chose to move back to London.

And where is Eileen Prince while all of this is happening? Well, she is in the same village, watching Tobias from afar, and, having gained courage as a gobstones protege at Hogwarts, she fills the void that Acacia left in Tobias heart.

Years later, Rose Sheppard chooses to return to the country estate to end her days. Acacia has grown up, become a doctor, married, and is working in India with her husband as part of the World Health Organization.

Only when Acacia learns of her mother's death does she bring her family back to the village.

And Tobias falls in love with Acacia again. And Severus falls in love with Lily.

And it is all down hill from there. Seriously downhill...what with the wizarding war, unrequited love, malaria, and some powerful memory charms.

At least this is how I envision it - I am sure JK Rowling has a less epic and melodramatic history of these people. And different names for them.

Again, this is how *I* chose to fill the back story since JKR has not yet released this information or, perhaps, even thought about it.

But I do because I have a flair for the melodramatic...and perhaps "fangirl" the whole Sev/Lily thing far too much for my own good.

Which is why I was so mad that Gossip Girl stole my plot line. I don't know who everyone is on the show, but here is the plot line as I understand it from my two episode and a few commercials knowledge of it:

The blond girl (really pretty) and the black haired boy (too small a nose to be cute) like each other, are possibly in love with each other, but she has *issues* and he has *issues* possibly, but not totally, about each other.

Whatever - they totally like each other and want to be together, but the writers of the show are keeping them apart for the drama of it all.

And to further this divide, the boy' father and girl's mother were once in love, a long time ago, and are now free to be together and the boy and girl decide to be apart for their parents' sake because it would be far to freaky to date the son/daughter of your mom/dad's boyfriend/girlfriend.

Whew.

Except the writers threw in some baby plot line that I totally do not understand - which was kind of cool, because some of the characters know the whole story and others don't and I got to be out of the loop so it was all a big mystery for me.

But the last scene in the train station I don't get - was their child put up for adoption? Or did she have an abortion?

I don't get it.

Whatever - the GG writers stole my plot line.

Except for the whole baby thing...and the requited love thing...whatever, same basic idea.

And they ironically (to me) named the mother Lily.

But I want to report that I came up with the whole thing first so that when I finally get my fanfic out there no one thinks that I am just copying the GG plot line.

I am perfectly capable of creating my own melodrama, thank you very much!

Questionable Odor

I am *this* close to changing the name of my blog to the above title.

Now, there is a lovely and fascinating tale regarding the title of this post.

It was just yesterday...

*cue fogginess of reminisce and then a subtle change to a clear scene*

...that I received a call on my school phone.

*ring*

*me and fifth graders, who were thoroughly enjoying our math lesson, fell silent*

me: Yes?

Peggy on phone: Fire drill!

me: Thank you! Line up everyone!

*Fifth graders dropped their pencils like it'was hawt and lined up against the wall - it was super cute*

me, yelling from front of the line by the door: Who's at the end of the line?

*Zac waved his hand from the back*

me: Zac close the door on your way out. Let's go!

We made our way out to the playground, me hushing my students, they attending to my request for one second and then proceeding the chat, and we joined the mass of students making their way to the cement playground. It was totally grey outside - a fine mist was in the air and the asphalt was slick.

I had to repremand several sixth grade boys for trying to slide down the asphalt easement on our way to the large space between the big toy and basketball hoops - where we always gather for a fire drill.

I whispered to my fifth graders to go to their homeroom teacher. They did - they are too cute.

We huddle around, students and teachers alike; it is cold and the teachers are especially stunned since we are normally warned when we will get fire drills, earthquake drills, fire-breathing monster drills, etc.

Finally, the principal had checked in with every classroom and said something to this effect:

Principal: "Thank you boys and girls for coming out - it could be a little quicker."

"We are going to wait outside for just a bit...there has been a questionable odor in the school-"

*students and teachers began to twitter - there was a good deal of muffled giggling from the junior high kids*

" - and when it has been inspected-"

*more giggles*

"- then we can go in."

And she walked away, leaving her staff to corral a whole school of students on a wet playground who had just learned their favorite new phrase:

Questionable Odor

Now, according to some, there was an odor - but it was indescribable.

Others in the building say that there was no odor - it was invisible.

I was in the "math cave", which is disconnected from the school as it in the rectory basement - so it was ignorable.

But according to the principal it was questionable...which of course begs the question...

WHAT WAS SO QUESTIONABLE ABOUT IT???

Of course the students had MANY theories, which they asked me about on our way back the the math cave.

"Mrs. K - what kind of odor is questionable?"

"What is a questionable odor?"

"Are we going to have homework tonight?"

During the sojourn on the playground, all of the teachers really wanted to know:

Could we possibly go home because of a "questionable odor"?

Because it would not only mean a day off, but a great conversation starter.

Or blog post.

*end reminisce*

5 Random Things

In no particular order:

1. Harry, A History - This was a really nice look back at the past ten years of the Harry Potter fandom. I especially liked hearing Jo Rowling's point of view. Melissa Anelli, of Leaky fame, did an excellent job with this book. If you would like to borrow the book, let me know.

One thing that intrigued was a comment JKR made about Dumbledore losing Grindelwald, his former object of affection.

She explained that he just turned inward and remained isolated and academic the rest of this life. "Does that mean he as a one-hundred-fifty-year-old virgin? I don't know," she said softly, peering into her coffee cup as though he held an answer.

When I read this passage, the Sev/Lily fangirl in me quickly jumped to conclusions. Could Dumbledore's experience be similar to Snape's? It would seem possible given what we know of Snape from the books - especially since Dumbledore agrees to meet with Snape after Snape passed info onto Voldy...perhaps he saw in Snape a similar need to protect the one he loved?

Hmmm...I will have to think more about this. I would LOVE to ask JKR about how Lily and Snape felt AFTER they parted ways in fifth year towards each other. I can write my own conclusions, but I would love to know what she envisioned.

2. Lord of the Rings Directors Cut (a.k.a. "Deluxe Precious Edition")

Me wants it.

I borrowed the set of three DVDs from an HP meetup friend (super cool and generous). I am THOROUGHLY enjoying it - it has the full film, with effects and music added in, behind the scenes look at how the whole film came together, and commentaries by everyone involved (well, I didn't see the key grip's commentaries, but that is ok - really!).

There were many more songs in the original. Which is kinda cool because they are WAY shorter than in the book.

Small confession - I skipped the songs when reading the series. WHAT! They were a weensy bit boring to me...

Also, El Hubarino (LG) started watching it with me and I have to pause it every 20 minutes or so to explain the plot.

Maybe if he watches it a third time through, he will get the connections.

Then again, he did see it in the theatre the first time and could not remember if Frodo lives.

:|

Seriously - he asked me yesterday if Frodo lives -and he has seen these movies before!!!

The one thing the hubbster won't watch with me is all of the "Making of" features. I LOVE THESE - they make me want to become a movie craftsperson! I can paint things, and link plastic chain mail, and...hold a cord, or something.

3. Which brings be to TEACHING - I do love it despite above sentences. Teaching is never boring and you get better over time.

I applied to Seattle University, am accepted, and will soon begin studies to earn my professional certification (which is the same thing as a licence). It will take me a year and half to complete.

:|

So, I will be at my job for another year...I hope...

I mean...I hope I don't get the boot.

My principal seems ok with me lately, despite my goals meeting which ended ok, but I still had to call the hubbster in tears over it.

:(

Still, things are going ok NOW, and I have to focus on that.

4. I am making Christmas gifts - which is a lot of fun. My embroidered tea towels are getting MUCH better. I would post them here, but some of you might be getting them as gifts and I want them to be a surprise.

They are fun to make and the crocheted bags are coming along nicely too.

That is all - oh wait.

This just in -

5. Obama reads Twilight with his daughters.

Ew. Twilight is a piece of poo. Seriously - I have read excerpts because that is all I could stomach. In the words of Smegol, "It burns us!".

I am disappointed - but I guess nobody is perfect!

Why I Have Not Blogged Lately...

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

I am just plain busy.  The school year started and even though I felt I was ready, I certainly was not.

And it is not as if I have nothing to blog about...there is PLENTY out there to write about the world at large.

I just haven't created anything lately.  Which I feel is supposed to be the *point* of this blog - not just random rants, etc.

Actually, I did create something recently.  I made a very cute crocheted bear for a friend's new baby girl.  But beyond that, my needle has been hibernating.

I need to take pictures of the things I have finished them ship them off.  

But there are other responsibilities that I have and I don't have time to sit and write or take pictures and upload them.

I do have time, however, to surf around on the Internet and look at other people's blogs - go figure.

My fanfic writing has come to a halt.  I find myself so worn down by my day that I have not the energy to get going on my writing.  I think about those characters - sometimes.  Most of the time I have been researching.  My current research is British History.  

For example, the local Harry Potter meetup had a, well, meetup, at the Seattle Public Library book sale.  It was SUPER cool - I got 19 books for $19!  I even got Kate and Odious some books to replace their lost ones...unfortunately they were not the titles I thought they had lost. 

(Hand to God, I thought they lost a lot of Dickens, and looked at a beautiful copy of The Pensees and Possession and thought "oh, those weren't on the list".  I am kicking myself now.  But, if anyone needs any additional Dickens, I am your girl!)

As I was perusing the classics section and picking up massive volumes of Dickens books, I found a really cool little book called A Child's History of England by Charles Dickens.  I looked cool and seemed about my reading level/style, so I purchased it for the low price of one dollar.

Now, I did not know that Charles Dickens was a racist or I would not have picked up the book. Perhaps it is not fair to call him a racist - hindsight is always 20/20 - but what he writes is sometimes quite offensive.  For example:

It was a British Prince named Vortigern who took this resolution, and who made a treaty of friendship with Hengist and Horsa, two Saxon chiefs.   Both of these names in the old Saxon language, signify Horse; for the Saxons, like many other nations in a rough state, were fond of giving men the names of animals, as Horse, Wolf, Bear, Hound.  The Indians of North America - a very inferior people to the Saxons, though - do the same to this day.

When I read this, I exclaimed "Says who?".  The hubby was woken from his slumber (poor fellow) and told me to hush.  Still, I was not keen on reading further after Mr. Dickens here insulted my ancestors.  Dude needed to back up and take in the accomplishments of a people and recognize AND respect.  Just because they did not take tea at four every afternoon does not make them "inferior" - I seriously doubt the Saxons carried out tea while trying to prevent the Danes from burning their house to the ground (or whatever).

True my ancestors got kicked around by the US government and various other governments, but that does not make them a "very inferior people"! 

Still, I read on, because I figure it was worth at least a dollar to finish.  And I like all of the names - why Odo is not more popular in Britain is a shame.

So, this is how I conduct research for my fanfic.

I was tempted to purchase the $30 10th anniversary edition of the Socerer's Stone, but I am saving my money for Beedle the Bard.   All the new edition has is a picture of Snape looking a lot like Rowan Atkinson and new cover art with the Mirror of Erised.

If you are wondering what all the links are about, check out this site.  I *really* like this cartoonist - and he is vegan!

By the way, I am trying the vegetarian thing - I break for seafood, however :(  Not all there yet.

The hubby is not pleased.

Will actually create something soon.

Martha Stewart = LOSE & FAIL

Last year my mother decided that she would try to domesticate me.  Or, just get a better deal on her Martha Stewart Living by purchasing a gift subscription for me (of course I had to pay the shipping -- curse you Martha Minions!!!).

And every month a new magazine would come with stunning photos of how one "should live" -- I know that is not exactly the motto of the magazine, but is it not implied in the title.

The second month in I found M.S. pretty annoying -- she photographed and wrote an article about her "craft studio" where she had coordinating boxes made to hold paper and ribbon and dodads that I would not know what to do with if I even had the time to take up crafts other than pysanky, crocheting, and some minor sewing.  I don't "live" with coordinating anything -- furniture, clothes, etc.; only my shoes match each other and sometimes my socks.

The recipes were good though.  Well, when adapted.  I mean, with instructions like "pick tomatoes that have ripened in the sunshine in your garden" -- come on!!!  Like I am not going to Trader Joe's and getting whatever tomatoes they have that look good.  If I am virtuous and have the time, I might get some from the farmers market, but still, I am not growing tomatoes on my condo balcony just to follow through on the recipes.

And I don't think I like champagne vinegar.  Or at least the expensive kind from Whole Foods -- the cheap stuff at Trader Joe's is a lot tastier.

Pascha was swiftly approaching and I was trying to make pysanky when this arrived at my door step.

And I got really excited! This looked like pysanky made simple, like pysanky quick and easy, and perhaps like pysanky in mass production. So, I read the article on the next page...
...and it looked simple enough. I just needed to grab some dye (no trouble since I have tons from getting ready for pysanky) and some "inexpensive" lace trimmings (this fact will come into play later...).

So, I headed up to Jo Ann fabrics in Shoreline (just over the Seattle border) and spent an hour searching and selecting lace that I thought could work well on an egg.

Then I headed home and following the instructions, first tried it with a red and brown egg -- thinking it would be really pretty with a brilliant red against the relief of a lacy brown.

I ended up with a completely red egg (no photo available) with a faint imprint of lace in one section.  I just shrugged and thought "oh, the pysanky dye is too strong" and turned the egg into the black and red Asian inspired egg pictured on this blog. I went back and read my pysanky books and saw that one could create a "lighter" shade of blue by diluting it and thought "oh, maybe this would work for the lacey eggs".  But I tried the lightened dye first on a pysanky in progress.  It turned out well, so I took it as a good sign for the lacey eggs.

So then I tried it with the lace. And I am proud to present evidence that MARTHA = FAIL.



I ended up with blue eggs! I even tried a HARD BOILED egg just like prescribed in the article...and no success there (I had to throw it away too because the pysanky dye is toxic). Then I tried it with normal edible egg dye and clean lace -- had some funky eggs in my Pascha basket (beside the one with a wrapper showing Obi Wan fighting the Evil Emperor.   What?  Don't judge!)

Some of you reading it may recall the bitter rant I gave about this in Oregon and had some insight into how my logic was distracted by the hopeful thought that I could churn mass quantities of pysanky out like I did in college. It really would not, could not work...ever. If you think about it, lace is not sturdy enough to lie flush against the curved surface of an egg nor does a rubber band enough of a tension to cause the lace to stay still long enough so no dye could get under the surface.

And after putting all that time into trying to make the dye and lace work I just ended up with a bunch of blue eggs...I threw them away (as painful as it was).

And I have tons of lace now, so if any of you out there need some inexpensive lace trimmings, I have them.  And by inexpensive I mean it was $1 for a yard of three inch trim.  MS on the other hand spent $60 ^%&$%# dollars on her "inexpensive" lace trimmings.

I suppose if I had gone to Federal prison for insider trading, $60 would be inexpensive to me as well.

I am left to conclude that the images in the magazine were either:

1) photoshopped by her minions

2) hand-painted in Mexico or India by under-paid workers who were not allowed to leave  until they had a product that resembled something that could be done with lace, eggs, and dye easily so as to fool readers into a false sense of successfulness.

And if my body is found in a remote location, then you know I have uncovered the truth.

Just make sure my husband is well fed - thanks :D

(on a side note:  what is up with the shuffle on my favorite itunes mix?  It is totally churning out the good stuff: Arthea Franklin, Lily Allen, Bow Wow Wow, Kate Rusby...no Neil Diamond in sight.  Yes, I like Neil Diamond...in small doses.  I have had to stop writing for awhile to dance in my chair -- it is difficult to type and bop around.  Plus I get some physical activity that way...ooo, Crocodile Rock!)

Alas- it is tough going for an Empiricist author...

...it is National write a novel month! I am a huge Meg Cabot fan and she posted about it on her blog. I should be inspired to complete my work - In the Blink of Her Eyes - but, ALAS, I find myself bogged down with facts and details and that pesky sense of wanting to get it right!

In morning traffic, as well as morning bed lurking, I found myself thinking of a new way to present the story. It is really a love triangle isn't it - Severus loves Lily, James loves Lily, Lily loved someone else...a long time ago (my own character creation), and really Lily loved Sev, but he's a bad boy and Lily hates James because he's a bad boy especially to her Sev. But then she has to face reality and James must become civilized (i.e. grow up). And Lily decides to torture Snape (notice the name change) JUST a little bit by being nice to James - afterall, she is hurting, and on the outside Snape doesn't appear bothered, but occupied in his own dark arts pleasures...

...and as I was brainstorming I threw in a humorous Pervy Peter Pettigrew story line - rat that he is, goes sneaking into the prefect bathrooms - ha!

And then I thought of a song for Peeves to sing:

Pesky, Pervy, Pettigrew
pottering around the pots
popping up amongst the towels
just to peak a alot!

Which was really bad...very bad writing, but amused me for a mo'. It is WAY better than all the snogging scenes I have imagined for Lily and Severus - I envision heavy use of Felix Felicitas on his part!

Anyhow, must go teach!