The Carrot

Here is your carrot Katy - she asked about where the fan fic was...

Part I - Chapter 1 where Lily's restless thoughts finally get her to sleep.

Lily could not sleep. She was quite sure of what was keeping her awake – the next day, the “date” with James Potter.

James Potter – she and James Potter were going on a date. Though Hogsmeade was officially off limits this year due to Death Eater recruitment (and Lily had a sneaking suspicion of which students were being recruited), James Potter had planned a date for the two of them tomorrow. He told her she should wear comfortable shoes. He lacked that certain James-Potter-self-satisfied smirk – he actually looked nervous.

He had also sounded nervous when he asked her for a date earlier in the year. Perhaps it was his tone that caught Lily off guard at dinner one evening. They were having polite conversation about Head Boy and Girl duties when it happened.

“Evans,” James had asked.

“Yes,” she had replied, not even looking up from the schedule for indoor break she was tapping with her wand.

“Do you think we could get together – j-just you and I, alone?”

“Right, that would be alright” she had replied, not even thinking, not even seeing it as an invitation for something else – she had been busy stuffing her bag with the altered schedules and rising to leave. She had only figured out what his words meant when Cassie interrogated her about agreeing to a date with Potter.

“Lily, if you don’t like him, don’t get his hopes up! It would be cruel!”

In the present, Lily gave a sigh. She heard Cassie stir in her sleep. It was no use – Lily was wide-awake. Climbing out of bed, lighted wand aloft, she went to the pitcher by the window to get some water. She wasn’t sure about James.

She filled the glass with water and sipped. She was never sure about James Potter – he could be kind in one instant and a total jerk on the other. He was just downright awful for the first five years of school, especially to Sev.

Severus Snape – the very thought of him made Lily plunk the glass down and dash for the warmth of her bed. He no doubt heard about the date tomorrow. Was it third year – yes it was third year because it was right after Potter saved him. Severus – Sev at the time – had blurted out that James Potter fancied her. Oh, how she hated James then, but just that morning she had thanked Potter profusely for saving her best friend from whatever beast was in that tunnel under the whomping willow. Still, that did not eliminate James Potter as her last choice on earth for a date.

Now Sev was always around Rosier and some other random, evil Slytherins – little death eaters in the making.

What would Sev say now? He most likely would be incredibly upset for he had always despised Potter. But, if he had stayed the Sev she knew from the village – her best friend. If had remained the Sev who knew everything, who would laugh more than scowl, who wouldn’t dream of insulting her…

Lily huffed and rolled over – Snape was a total jerk.

If all he could muster that night was lame apologies and excuses, then he had made his choice. Those little dark arts pals were more important to him than she was.

If Sev had stayed Sev, would she even be on a date with James Potter tomorrow?

Lily rolled over in her bed some more – slightly disgusted with herself. Her thoughts always seemed to come back to Severus Snape. At first, he had fought her silence and constantly tried to contact her, but now he was silent and ignored her as much as she ignored him.

She really did not know him anymore. If he did speak to her, she was less than kind, quite often rude, but he said nothing scathing in return.

Did he care? Did she care if he cared?

Lily burrowed deeper under the bed sheets. It would be incredibly unwise to let her mind wander down these paths. What she needed to worry about was tomorrow – did she even like James Potter?

When she had cried on Snape’s shoulder over Tristan, wasn’t it he who said that you had to love someone who loves you. Otherwise, you would go completely mad. Tristan, Tristan Sharp – there was a story there, but her mind was too weary from reminiscing and began to calm itself.

Snuggled under blankets, Lily finally thought herself to sleep.