And to clarify - this pregnancy was accidently-on-purpose. It was a new year and we thought we would give it a try (we had nervously thought about it in 2009, but somehow 2010 ushered in new resolve). We stopped using birth control and paid a tiny bit of attention to the calendar of my cycle I have been keeping since I was 12 (I LIKE to plan, what can I say).
After I proctored an SAT one Saturday morning, I came home and found that I had started my period. I cried. I thought it was hopeless - I was not going to ever have a baby and was certain God was telling me something. My hubby tried to calm down my perfectionist state and cheered me as best he could.
But then the rest of the "stuff" that comes with a period never came. And it never came for a week.
The next Saturday morning I went to Target at precisely 8 a.m. (when they open) and the hubby thought I was nuts.
But I wasn't!
What - I had to take a picture! As soon as I took the test and saw the second window turn blue, I yelled for him to come to the bathroom. We laughed, we hugged, we jumped around and praised God.
And then we were totally blindsided by the thought that we would have a little one and there was no turning back. As my mother-in-law would later perfectly say "You say you're going to do something, and then you do it, and it happens and you think 'oh crap, it happened!'".
The first person I told was the priest, because who else are you going to tell who will keep it quiet. He told me I would no longer fast (woo-hoo! I mean, DARN!) and I would have to commune more often (DARN! I mean - yay!).
Those communion prayers are long - that's all I'm saying.
And then the news slowly trickled. I made doctor's appointments, we told our parents on Valentine's Day (or around that time), and I told my boss.
But here the two of us were, guarding this little secret, trying hard not to burst.
Or at least the hubby was - I was still kind of in denial. I refused the first ultrasound (which apparent they use to confirm something is in there) .
By my second appointment, I could no longer refuse the scan. It was a vaginal ultrasound, which EW. I always felt like the machine and I should at LEAST have dinner first. All I can say is at least it had a condom!
Here is our little one at 9 weeks (March 2nd):
It was really cool - when the first image came up, it moved its little arm! Like it was waving or giving me confirmation that it was indeed there. Waving at me - its little heart beating so fast.
I couldn't help it - I started to cry. I think I fell in love - I fell in love with this tiny soul inside me growing and becoming a person.
It is all really scary to me and seems to be growing WAY to fast. I feel like Winne the Pooh with a tummy to round to keep a shirt and pants over it.
In the months to come I am SURE I will have more posts about maternity gear, tendinitis, and other such lovely things about pregnancy. For now I and the hubby are elated that we will have a little one to share our lives.
And hopefully I won't screw up too much.
