We thought about spacing (two years seemed good) and the fact that we felt as only children we had missed out on the joy/suffering that came with siblings. Both of us are very stubborn and have an unique take on how things should work...if only the rest of the world could think like us, it would be a much happier place. Alas, it seemed a better idea to bring more sane people into the world and provide Nina and her future sibling with a more balanced lifestyle than having parents cater to your every whim (at least 80% of the time).
Still, that seemed something in the far off distant future. Eh, babies, shmabies, there is time.
Then one frisky evening, I told him to throw caution to the wind. I believe the conversation went something like this...
L: Are you fertile?
J: Probably...
L: Um...do we really want a cutie?
J: Eh, it takes many couples up to six months.
L: Um...
J: You know, I am not really thinking about kids at this exact moment...
A few weeks later, I looked at the calendar and thought, 'Hmmmm...I should have started by now...'
One expired pregnancy test later, we thought we might be expecting. We had to get a fresh test though and it yielded the same result. Did you know they usually sell those things in two packs? After Lance suggested he try the test, I could see why -- dudes probably want to make sure it works. I was in denial though. Maybe this wouldn't happen. I was still nursing, so maybe it was all going to be a fluke. I had a nasty virus at the time, so I was sure this would all just be over and I could resume a life not on pins and needles.
Now, nota bene, I told random people at random times. So, don't feel snubbed if so and so knew before you or special because you knew before those guys -- seriously, you are my friend, you know how random I can be with life events like this. Seriously.
Then I got terrible all-day sickness and total lethargy. My linea negra showed up (dark, vertical tummy line) and my belly began to get really round by the end of the day.
Yesterday, we got to see the little peanut on the ultrasound. I will admit, I was a little nervous that I had twins in there. I have been gaining weight steadily (probably because I have so recently weaned Nina) and even the doctor really poked around in there to make sure there was only one.
(could not get the pic to scan straight...)
It wiggled a little. It wasn't the big arm movement Nina made when she was in there (read about it here). It was as if it was trying to snuggle down, assuring me that it would be there for the long haul. I did get a little teary.
I am pretty sure God is trying to tell me it is time -- that He has given us this blessing because we need it and not because we planned it ahead of time with the full scope and layout of how this new addition will work.
Nina knows there is a baby in there and she got to see the baby on the machine. She has been pretty clingy lately -- she ran past the nurses to the exam rooms in search of me. My mother claims that is because it is a boy. We will have to wait another few months before anyone can see anything definitive. One thing is for certain: I want to know what the gender is.
Above all else, I have resolved to embrace this pregnancy and take it for what it is. I don't want to over plan or be committed to anything -- I just want to be practical and thoughtful without stressing myself. I have to remember that I have done this before and though there will be differences, the baby will still be a baby and will be here around January 24th.
