Dear Kim Jong-Il,
I know you are upset that no one likes you. However, your current actions are not winning you any friends. Life would be much easier if you dealt with your control issues, gave up your dictatorship, and let people choose their own leader. I promise that you would have a lot more friends and Hollywood would TOTALLY make a movie about your life if you did this.
No, not a Lifetime TV movie, a REAL movie. You know, like the one you tried to make when you kidnapped those Japanese movie stars.
If you give it all up, I promise to help make this all a reality. You might even get a book deal. Oprah *might* even do one more season just to interview you.
How 'bout it?