Saturday, May 22, 2010

If I had to...

...write a "love making" scene for a novel, it would be like this:

but obviously in words. Brooke McEldowney also did a similar strip when Amos and Edna also "discovered" each other.

For the past few months, the comic has been Gran's flashback - her memories of what it was like being a spy during WWII. It has been great to read and I hope it ends happily :)

I have a sneaking suspicion that though she is with the Austrian opera singer (hand pictured above), he will turn out to be married or something because she ends up becoming O'Malley (which is not an Austrian last name).

Either way, it AWFULLY embarrassing when one finds oneself writing about sex. Neil Gaimon explained it best in his anthology of short stories "Smoke and Mirrors". He wrote a story that is rather descriptive and, in his notes about the story, he says it was difficult to complete - he would find himself writing, blushing, putting the story away for a week or two, and then returning to try to write another section only to find himself blushing yet again.

My discomfort in describing the topic makes me contemplate how and what I will tell my own child about sex. I will try my best to not stammer and blush. Perhaps the best baby shower gift would be someone offering to tell my child the facts (and all the options) because I am sure by the time my child is curious he or she will not want to hear it from me!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

An Expectant Mother's Day

My husband and I had hoped that in the ultrasounds that we had this week and the last that we would find out the gender of our child. For some reason my husband seemed blase about the whole thing - or wanted it to be a surprise. I was quite vocal that I wanted to know and I would not let it be a surprise for him because I dislike surprises so very much.

Well, our little one really didn't care what we thought - it really does have a mind of its own. During the first ultrasound, the only thing we could really see was its hands, feet, and limbs moving about. Its whole self was mostly turned toward me and the 32 ounces of water I had to drink before the exam continually filled my bladder such that I had empty it several times.

I *thought* I saw the characteristic three lines between the legs that would signal a girl, but I was old that was a bone. :| Good thing I did not enter the medical profession! I was told there was nothing visible between the legs - which could mean a girl or it could mean that nothing between the legs is visible at that moment. It didn't help that the little one kept wiggling around like a squirmy worm!

We were given a few pictures - I find the frame amusing.

Who looks like this after they have a baby? Maybe people with servants.

Here is the squirmy worm:

It is amazing how skeletal the baby looks - but since those are the most dense parts of the child right now, it would be what is most visible.

The technician thought she got all of the pictures and I was sent back to work. Then I got a phone call that afternoon in the team office saying I had to do ANOTHER ultrasound because they did not get all the pictures of the heart that they needed. But every thing looked NORMAL - which helped soothe my frazzled nerves.

I had a OB appointment on Tuesday and this resident was in the room (with my permission) - I swear he was twelve. He had trouble locating the baby's heartbeat. When the OB came in the room, she felt my belly, put a dab of goo (as opposed to the half bottle the resident did) on the monitor, and instantly found the heartbeat. It was pretty amusing to me :D

So, we went back this past Friday for more pictures of the heart and hopefully to find the gender. It appeared that the baby was kicking back or taking a nap - its body was mostly turned towards me, its head toward my left and feet to my right. Its legs were tucked it and it was very calm - but not too calm with a 140 bpm heart rate! The tech was able to get a few pictures, but I still had to empty my bladder again and get tilted down in an attempt to get a better angle on the baby. The tech jostled the ultrasound wand against my belly and, though my husband says he didn't notice it, the baby moved its hand in a type of swatting motion - as if to say "knock it off". I would not have thought much of this movement except that after it opened its mouth repeatedly - the way I do when I first wake up.

I cannot believe how much personality this little one has already.

And it is hiding its gender REALLY well - I didn't see three lines or any lines between the legs. The tech said it she thought it might be a girl (she thought she saw some indication) but nothing was readable.

On the way back to his office, my husband wondered what he would do with a little girl (if, indeed, it is a girl). I said "What you would do with a boy".

His response: "But she can't play baseball"

Me: "Yes she can. (pause) She better play soccer, too. If it's a she."

This Mother's Day I am no wiser as to what the gender of the child will be as well as what it will be like to be a mother. Oh well, I guess I have some time still :D